I Will Fucking Stab You!
I sleep with my dog (Kuta) in my room and this morning he burst out barking and growling like mad. I awake startled and realized that someone just knocked on my bedroom door...I live alone...Who the FUCK is in my house! As I'm waking up and trying to figure out what is going on, there is another rattle on my bedroom door. SHIT! Now I'm looking for a weapon...The knife I used to religiously stash under my mattress is in my car. I have my cell phone in hand and I really really wanted to dial 911, but I start looking for alternatives. I can jump out the window, run around back and surprise whomever is trying to get into my bedroom. But it is 8am?! Who the hell breaks into a house in the morning?! They must be on drugs!!! Why would they be trying to get into my bedroom when they know I have a big ass dog in here?!
So I sneak out of bed, trying not to make a sound. I crawl across the floor and try to look under the door. IS THAT SOMEONES FOOT?! Oh, hmmm, I guess an intruder wouldn't be wearing my new gold peep-toe pumps (that I left outside my bedroom door). After trying to peer under the door and listening for any foreign noises, I get up off of the floor. As I come eye-level with the door knob, I notice that it isn't even locked (I guess that would make it pretty easy for an intruder to enter my room...unless they didn't have thumbs.)...
So, apparently, Monkey decided to wake up at 8am and entertain herself by rolling around on the floor and bashing into my door (I couldn't see her from my bed). I had hung three brass horseshoes on my door the day before, so this made quite a ruckus, which startled Kuta into attack mode, which scared the hell out of me.
Sweet, 1st I'm attacked by Gummy Sweetarts Bugs and now I have to stab people. What a week...
Rambled by Vicious Summer @ 3:25 AM
3 Shenanigans:
Lol VS!!
When I first started dating my wife I took her to see Red Dragon. That night she called me all paniced that someone was in her house so I drove over and the police chopper was overhead and everything!!!!
It was just the dog too... funny afterwords
Kooky
Woah, steady girl... keep your golfclubs next to the bed, I do. There's nothing like a nine iron in the chops to show someone you care ;)
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