Summer's Shenanigans

I am so fucking fed up with corporate "customer service". You know what I'm talking about, call any corporations "customer service" and you get the automated system that prompts you through 10 minutes of: "If you'd like our address press 1, if you'd like to cancel your service press 2, if you'd like to access your account press 3...(This is where I usually zone out)...If you'd like to listen to these options again press 9, you can also access our website at www.randomcorp.com, which is spelled w-w-w-.-r-a-n-d-o-m-c-o-r-p-.-c-o-m. Oh and if you'd like to speak to a customer service representative press 1957...". SO if you are lucky enough to make it through to an actual human you'll hear something stupid like, "Thank you for calling Random Corp, this is Jessica Smith speaking and how can I provide you with EXCELLENT customer service today". What sort of corporate monkey took a little too much Prozac and then came up with this stupid crap!? I can't think of a more insincere thing that they could force these customer service reps to say. Well for starters it would be EXCELLENT if you didn't just waste 15 minutes of my life (excluding the time holding to reach customer service)...Then after you actually get the info you were calling for, a nice "Thank you and have a great day" would be nice. BUt NOOOOo, you get "Thank you for calling random corp my goal was to provide you with excellent customer service today would you say that I've met that goal?".

QUIT WASTING MY F*&#^*$% TIME MR. CORPORATE SCRIPT WRITER!

I could go on about this all day, since I did work in a customer service call center a few years back. Where I worked they decided that customer service reps were not allowed to say the word "goodbye". WTF is that all about? Customers would say "goodbye" and we were instructed to say something like "Thank you, sir" or "have a nice day". Those are not human responses to "goodbye"! I refused to do that (and 75% of the other bs they instructed us to do) and my managers didn't know what to do with me, so they promoted me out of the call center...haha.

ANY HOW, this post has a point. Here is what pushed me over the edge on this subject...I sell stuff on ebay and had a small problem that I needed them to fix so I emailed ebay customer service:

"...This bidder email address does not work, I have not received payment (its over 30 days), and I no longer have this item in stock. I opened a "mutual agreement" dispute since I can not contact the bidder and he denied it and eBay closed the dispute. I want my final value fee back, so I need to change this dispute to a nonpayment. Thanks"

Ebays response:

Hello,

Thank you for writing eBay.

While researching this situation, I was able to verify that this Unpaid Item Dispute was closed, and you have not received an Unpaid Item Strike for this item.

To ensure that your future transactions run smoothly, we recommend that all buyers keep the following information in mind:

1. You automatically enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the item from the seller if you win the auction or use the Buy It Now feature.

2. Be sure that you understand the description of the item, and the seller's payment and shipping terms, before placing a bid. If you have any questions about the listing, be sure to use the "Ask seller a question" feature.

3. After the auction end, if you have a problem communicating with a seller through email, you can request their contact information (including a phone number) at the following eBay page:

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQtZvbQQsofindtypeZ9

4. Ensure your contact information is up-to-date, including your email address, and that you don't have any "Spam" blocking software installed that may limit a seller from communicating with you.

5. If you have computer or connection problems, please remember that you can access your eBay account through any computer with Internet access, such as those at a library or friend's house. Your bids can be monitored through your "My eBay" page from any computer.

Thank you for being part of the eBay community.

Regards,

Denton
Investigations Team
eBay Trust & Safety


Oh awesome, that has nothing to do with what I was asking, so I sent this response:

Well, gee. That's great. Did you READ my original email? Let's try this again. This is what I said:

"This bidder email address does not work, I have not received payment (its over 30 days), and I no longer have this item in stock. I opened a "mutual agreement" dispute since I can not contact the bidder and he denied it and eBay closed the dispute. I want my final value fee back, so I need to change this dispute to a nonpayment. Thanks"

Let me see if I can explain it better, since obviously, you didn't understand...

I am the SELLER. The buyer did not pay for the item with in 30 days. The buyers email address does not work, so i can not contact them. I opened a "mutual agreement dispute" because I can't get a hold of the buyer to explain that this item is no longer available for him to purchase since it was relisted since the buyer failed to pay for the item. The buyer refused the mutual agreement dispute, so now I need this dispute changed to a "non-paying bidder" dispute. I WANT MY FINAL VALUE FEE BACK. Item # is 8201222533

I then recieved this response from eBay:

Hello,

I appreciate you notifying SafeHarbor with your concern. My name is Elsie and I am happy to help you today.

While investigating the matter, we have not been able to reach the account holder or verify the accuracy of the account holders registration information. As a precaution, we have temporarily restricted the member's ability to trade on eBay until further information can be obtained. Our difficulties in reaching this member may be caused by something as simple as a typographical error in his or her contact information. For this reason, our decision to restrict this member should not be viewed as a negative reflection on that member.

We appreciate your assistance in keeping eBay a safe and secure place to trade.

Regards,
Elsie
Investigations Team
eBay Trust & Safety


My response:

Thank you, Elsie. When will I be getting my final value fee credited for item #8201222533?
Cheers,
Summer
Vicious Enterprises

The next response from eBay:

Hello,

My name is Dunley and may I just say thank you for sharing your concerns with us about the rod1900 account.

While investigating the matter, we have not been able to reach the account holder or verify the accuracy of the account holder's registration information. As a precaution, we have temporarily restricted the member's ability to trade on eBay until further information can be obtained. Our difficulties in reaching this member may be caused by something as simple as a typographical error in his or her contact information. For this reason, our decision to restrict this member should not be viewed as a negative reflection on that member.

We appreciate your assistance in keeping eBay a safe and secure place to trade.

Regards,

Dunley
Investigations Team
eBay Trust & Safety


My response:

Yes, I understand that this member is unreachable (I've tried many times as well). But, I'm really more concerned on when I'll be getting a fee refund on this auction. Thanks.
Cheers,
Summer
Vicious Enterprises


Another pointless response from eBay:

Hello,

Thank you for writing to eBay's Customer Support. My name is Michael.

In order to receive a credit of your Final Value Fees, you will still want to complete an Unpaid Item report.

To file an unpaid item dispute, please follow the directions below:

1. Click on the "site map" link located at the top of any eBay page.

2. Once there, click on the "Report an Unpaid Item" link from the middle column under the "Manage my items for sale" heading.

3. Enter the item number and select the User ID of the buyer as well as the reason you are filing.

4. Once you've completed this, please click the "Submit" button.

From here, your buyer will be notified that an Unpaid Item has been

filed against them.

If the buyer is no longer a registered user, you will automatically receive a Final Value Fee credit. If the buyer is still a user on eBay and does not resolve the situation within seven days, you request a Final Value Fee credit by following the steps below:

1. Click on "My eBay" located at the top of all eBay pages. You may be asked to sign in if you haven't already.

2. Click the "All Selling" link located on the left-hand side of the page.

3. Click on the "Unpaid Item disputes" link located in the "Related Links" section.

4. Locate your item.

5. Click on the "View Dispute" link.

6. Click "Close your dispute."

7. Choose the correct option to close the dispute and request a refund.

8. Click the "Submit" button.

You should see a confirmation page indicating whether or not you have received a credit.

Thank you for your time. I was happy to help and I wish you the best of luck with your sales.

Regards,

Michael M.V.
eBay Billing Support

My response:

OKay,
Let me explain this again (for the 4th time now?). Actual, I will copy and paste my 1st email...again...:

"This bidder email address does not work, I have not received payment (its over 30 days), and I no longer have this item in
stock. I opened a "mutual agreement" dispute since I can not contact the bidder and he denied it and eBay closed the dispute. I want my final value fee back, so I need to change this dispute to a nonpayment. Thanks"

I CAN NOT OPEN A DISPUTE FOR THIS. A DISPUTE WAS ALREADY OPENED SO I CAN'T DO A DAMN THING. I can read and I know how to open a dispute. Unfortunately, EBAY (you) needs to do something rather then respond to my numerous emails with canned "answers". I NEED SOMEONE TO GET OFF THEIR A$$ AND FIX THIS ALREADY.

Apparently there are no independent thinkers over there, so, here is what you need to do:

1. YOU (remember, ebay will not allow me to do this) need to REOPEN the dispute that was filed on item# 8201222533.

2. YOU need to change the dispute to an "unpaid item" dispute rather then a "mutual agreement" dispute.

So, remember before you hit the canned response button...I CAN'T DO THIS! YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME SORT OF ACTION. PLEASE DO NOT WASTE ANY MORE OF MY TIME. If you can not perform the above action, i need to speak with a supervisor. I can be reached at (760) 720-0517.

Cheers,
Summer
Vicious Enterprises

I would say that i have been more then patient with the numerous emails and weeks I have been trying to get a fucking answer...If someone wasted this much of my time and patience in person I would have punched them in the face after the 3rd "answer".