Since yesterday was Mardi Gra and my friends were talking about all the boobs they had seen, I think it's time to discuss good boobs vs. bad boobs. I spend a lot of time editing photos of half naked women, so I have seen my fair share of boobies, both good and bad, and I feel that I am somewhat a Breast Expert. That's right, you must bow before my knowledge of boobs. Plus I have a set of my very own...Any how, lets start with:
Bad Boobs
This poor girl. She's so pretty, obviously really young and has a horrible boob job. Her new boobs are 3" too low, too far apart, at least a cup size too big for her frame and her nipples are staring off into space. $5,000 not very well spent.
Ouch!! I would be afraid to even touch these hound dogs! I don't even need to point out how wrong these breast implants are, on so many levels.
Yep. Even guys can have bad boobs. And I don't mean "bad" as in "good", either. I hope this guy wears a sports bra when he runs. Oh wait, he obviously doesn't run. hmm.
Not only does this chick, Catherine Bosley, have a yucky yucky boob job, she was also a news anchor in Youngstown who decided to get completely naked in a wet t-shirt contest. Great idea! She resigned once these pictures and the video surfaced. Any how, back to how bad her boobs are...Oh wait, you can see for yourself. GROSS!
This chick somehow managed to work out enough to have really big man pecs and then decided to implant boobs underneath them?! Looks pretty strange to me, but okee dokee...
This is not a natural shape for a boob. This isn't even a natural shape for fake boobs! Why the hell is your boob flat on one side? Perhaps she had them propped up on a table top for too long or something...yuck.
Okay, apparently even skeletons are good candidates for
breast implants! At 1st I felt bad because I thought that perhaps this women had some sort of medical condition. But then I thought about it and I know if I looked like this, I wouldn't go out in public so scantily dressed (I wouldn't do it anyways, but perhaps that's just me...).
So there you have it. Bad boobs. Horrible, yucky boobs. Why, oh why, would someone pay a plastic surgeon thousand of dollars to look like this?! I don't get it t all. Small boobs are WAY better then fake, round, plastic-feeling balls stuck on your chest. Small boobies are actually cute, but you know what they say, "The grass is always greener..."
Now, on to:
Good Boobs
This girl has perfect boobs. Perfecty in preportion to her body. Does she need a big rack hanging off of her chest to be sexy? Not bloody likely! (By the way, if you like her
star pasties, you can score a pair at
LaLaLingerie.com.)
This is a picture of porn queen Savannah and although her boobs are fake, they are definately good boobs. They fit her body and are perky without being too round.
Mmmmmm. Pizza! And good boobs too!
WOW! Look at that cleavage. Oh wait...that's a babies butt...hmmm. I think I might be getting tired. Good night!
Oh, and the moral of the story is: You don't need fake tits to be sexy. But, if you choose to get a boob job, do your research and find a genuinely
talented plastic surgeon, not some hack handing out coupons in the paper.
Labels: Boobs, Funny
Yep. I like Stefan. So there...
