Summer's Shenanigans

At least for Carrie Madariaga, who turned the big 2-7 on March 17th!!

Here is the entire group: E, Deza, Vicky, Bretts boobies, that guy in the green sweater, Shelby, Brian, Carrie & Summer!


Carrie doesn't mess around with cake...chewing is for pussies!!




Deza takes one for the team and happily accepts Carries birthday spankings...


Working off the bar tab!

So there you have it..Good times in Los Angeles!

I laughed so hard I cried...

The funniest pictures EVER!

Oh look, he's smiling at me! I'm going to pet him...

The last way I would ever want to die is at the hands of an animal. More specifically a shark. Lately I have been obsessing about sharks and shark attacks while I'm out surfing and I swear it's giving me anxiety! I could not even image the fear that would overcome your entire body, seeing a big ass shark while you are out in the water. They out size you, they out weight you, they by far out power you and they are way faster then you in the water.



A full grown Great White shark is 12 -21 feet long and weighs up to 6,000 lbs. That's 3 tons! Now tell me that you wouldn't freak out if you were sitting on your surfboard and saw a fish that big, let alone a fish that big that probably wants to eat you. I've always been taught that sharks usually only attack because they think you are a seal or some other "mistaken identity" bull shit. Well, from what I've been reading lately, that's not so true. A shark will be quite happy eating a human. As a matter of fact, most boating and plane disasters, where people end up in the water, end up with most of those people getting eaten by sharks unless they are rescued with a quickness. Can you image how fun that would be? First your plane crashes, you realize you survived, you float around for a while waiting to be rescued and then, BAM, shark food. Not really my idea of a good time...



Here is actual video footage of a great white shark attacking a surfer: http://www.surfermag.com/av/shrkatt/

Here is a link to some interesting interviews with shark attack survivors: SharkSurvivor.com

And no, I'm not talking about prostitution...Get your minds out of the gutter!

Here is a fact you probably didn't know about me: I "donated" my eggs a few years back. (And by "donated" I mean "sold", but as long as I say "donated", the $7,000 I received is untaxable. Gotta love loop holes.) I was featured on FertilityAlternatives.com and my ova was anonymously purchased by a couple in Los Angeles. That's when the fun began...I had to swear off alcohol, caffeine and sex for a month and I had to inject myself with fertility hormones twice a day for 2 weeks, which made my body "pop" multiple ripe ovum (22 to be exact). For you that don't know, usually a women only produces one per month. Well, when I signed up for this gig, they failed to mention that these shots are really really painful. And I'm not talking about the needle part. The actual drugs burned as they were being injected and sent shooting pains up and down my thigh. RAD! And I got to do that twice a day! Then my ovaries were so swollen that I had to stop running because I could feel them bouncing around (Ewwwww. That grosses me out just thinking about that again). Next I was required to go to the fertility doctor EVERY day for 2 weeks. Okay, imagine having to go to the gyno every day, mix in super moodiness brought on by raging hormone injections and then have some quack poking your swollen ovaries from the inside out. Let's just say that the doc and I exchanged a few words. And a lot of mine started with F. So after a month, my eggs were ripe for the picking, so I went to the hospital and was harvested. When I first woke up from surgery, I actually felt a lot better since my ovary were no longer filled with eggs, but the day after surgery my ovaries started leaking fluid into my abdominal cavity. They poked 22 holes in my ovaries and expected them not to leak like a seive?! Fabulous. So I was bed ridden for at least another week.

SO, after all of this trouble I went through, the couple that spent all of this money trying to get pregnant with my genes DID NOT get pregnant. What a bummer! They offered me $10,000 to do it again, but I politely turned them down while my mind was screaming, "No way in hell!!!".