Summer's Shenanigans

So I got a junk-mail looking letter in the mail from MBNA (my credit card company) and decided to open it. It revealed a little pamphlet titled: "Important Changes to Your Credit Card Account", with subtitling of: "Changes in Terms document", "Summary of what's changing", "Tips for managing your account", "Take advantage of these outstanding benefits". Now, who the hell would read this junk, right? Well, I decided to read it because MBNA pulled this shit on me 8 months or so ago...Opening the pamphlet there is a bunch of jibber jabber about "Tips for managing your account", then under "Summary of what's changing" is this:

"We are changing your annual percentage rates. These are labeled (APR Change) in the enclosed Change in Terms document. You do not have to accept these APR changes; please see the enclosed instructions"

Then you have to pull out the Change in Terms document and read through the 3 pages of fine print and how to "not accept" a rate increase. Can you call? No. Can you email? No. Those options would be too easy! You have to write and mail a god damn letter! And, guess when it was due...YESTERDAY. You have to be f-ing kidding me.

SO, I call up MBNA, to find out what they think they are going to raise my APR to...Get this...from 9% (which they raised from 7% two months ago, because I threw away a junk letter like this one) to 24.99%!!! WTF?! Does the front of this pamphlet really say "Take advantage of these outstanding benefits"?! What a joke. Did I mention that I always pay my credit card bill on time?

So tomorrow I have to call the main office of MBNA - "The Bend You Over and Prison Fuck You Credit Card Company"

So, I freaked this morning because my new iMac G5 wouldn't turn on! Well, actually, it would turn on but it was all fuzzy like a bad tv station and it wouldn't operate!

"Holy crap! My computer is self destructing, my ENTIRE business is on it and I havn't backed it up in 6-8 months!!! AHHHH!"

So I call Apple and they tell me to bring it in so I lug my heavy ass computer down to the Apple Store in the UTC Mall. Good news is that my computer did not self destruct (phew!), the video card was just bad. Bad news is that they need to order the part, which means it would normally take 5 - 7 days before my computer was fixed, BUT Apple parts are currently running slow on delivery which mean it would take more like 7 - 12 days before my computer would be fixed! I think I almost fainted when the guy told me that. I told him that there is no way that I can shut down my business for that long (My iMac does all the invoicing, etc for my websites)! So, he tells me to hold on for a second and goes to talk to the manager. Long story short is that they swapped my hard drive in to a BRAND new iMac G5 (and it only took an hour). Not only did they give me a brand new computer, they also hooked me up with the following:

~ Mac OSX Tiger - The brand new operating system. A $129 value.

~ Airport Extreme - This now built into the new iMacs and it works 10 times better then the regular airport card I had. A $79 value.

~ Bluetooth Technology - This is also built into the new iMacs and is totally bad ass. A $40 value.

~ Wireless Keyboard - Totally awesome. A $59 value.

~ Wireless Mouse - I already have one that my brother got me for Christmas, but free stuff is still cool. A $59 value.

~ 256MB Extra RAM - A $125 value.

So, not only did I get a brand new computer, I got hooked up with $491 of extras! Sweet! The two guys that helped me were so incredibly awesome. I'm going to call the store to get their names and send them something nice.

So there you have it. Yet another reason why Apple is super bad ass. Do you think you would have received such good service walking into a Comp USA with your IBM? I don't think so...

I've posted before about funny searches that lead to this blog, and I swear, as this blog grows, the searches get even funnier...Here is a current list of things people plugged into a search engine and ended up here:

* Good Boobs - Sweet! I love it that you can search for "good boobs" and find me! Haha.

* Bad Boobs - Not so sweet...

* Mom's a Slut - Hey! My MOM is not a slut! Her CAT is a slut! Sickos ;)

* Boobs are Good - Well, yes, boobs are good. But, why would you be searching for "boobs are good"?! I could totally see Homer Simpson Googling it, but it would be more like "Mmmmmm, boobs are good"...

* Granny Underwear - Granny! Did you lose your underwear again? I know the internet is cool, but using it to find your underwear?

* Ovary is Leaking Fluid - I hate it when that happens!

* Why is Redbull Bad - It's not! How many times do I have to tell you people. Sheesh.

* Costa Rica Boobs - Is this how guys decide on a travel destination nowadays?

* Kalina Butts - Kalina! Some one is searching for your butt(s) (how many of those do you have laying around any ways?!)

* Am I Under Investigation - How is Google supposed to know?! Stay off the meth people!

* My Boobs Are Too Far Apart - Um. Gee, that's unfortunate.

* And I Was Like Weeeeeeeeee - Like, oh my god! Did Paris Hilton learn to use a search engine?!

* Princess Puking - Princess puking? Is this some sort of new fetish I don't know about yet?

I was shopping for mannequins to use for my stores and came across this one:

YIKES! This is just plain scary! I would run screaming from any store that had this mannequin in their window...

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have been losing sh!t left and right. This all started about three weeks ago when I lost my ATM card. Two days later, I lost my license. Lucky I have a passport because I went to the Virgin Islands before I was able to get a new license. Then, while in the Virgin Islands, I lost my passport (look for a whole 'nother blog on that fiasco, later). Then, I tried to make some phone calls to make arrangements to get out of the Virgin Islands and my cell phone dies. And guess what I lost. The f-ing charger! And I won't even mention the hours I have spent looking for lost belts, shoes and car keys lately...ARG!

Okay, you guys asked for it...Here is a picture of my bad bad bad haircut. I HATE IT!! GROW BANGS, GROW!!