Summer's Shenanigans

I just bought these super hot shoes! And, no, they didn't cost my $10,000, they were a present to myself for hitting my sales goal milestone of $10,000 (total sales for June 2005). My best month yet (excluding the Halloween costume rush in September and October). Woohoo! So, back to how hot my new shoes are...These babies are the Steve Madden "Darlings" and I've wanted them for a while now, but couldn't bring myself to drop $130 on a pair of shoes. Just so happens that it's a good thing I waited because I scored them for 60% off (Steven Madden just started a 50% off sale today and then I found an extra 10% off coupon code...gotta love the internet!) I am *such* a smart shopper (or am I just a cheap-ass?) =) !

By the way, I am on a freaking blogging roll today...Check out my fashion blog & lingerie blog!

p.s. Today I saw a midget construction worker carrying a ladder. Do you suppose his foreman makes him do all the little jobs, or does he use that ladder to be able to do the work of a taller man?

I upgraded my G5 to the Tiger operating system, but I havn't really messed around with any of the new features until today...and guess what! WIDGETS ARE FREAKING COOL! For you all that have no idea what I'm talking about, when i hit F12 on my computer it brings up my dashboard. On your dashboard, you can have whatever widgets your heart desires, and there is a widget for EVERYTHING (although, I'm still looking for a San Diego surf report widget...). I downloaded a bunch of free widgets from DashboardWidgets.com, including a eBay Tracker Widget, Hula Girl Widget, Package Tracker Widget, HotorNot Widget, etc.

After my Good Boobs vs Bad Boobs post I was accused of not posting enough bigger boobies in the "good boobs" section. Well, I like good big boobs as much as the next person, so I was collecting good big boob pictures for your optical enjoyment when I happened upon the website of Dr Sal Calabro (I'm not going to link to his site, because I'm sure his "Cease and Desist" letter will be arriving soon enough...). Doctor Sal Calabro may sound familiar because he is the doctor that performs the plastic surgeries on the women who humilate themselves on the Howard Stern show. What a hack! Check out these photos that were pulled from Dr Calabro's portfolio. Talk about bad boob jobs!

"Hi Dr Calabro! I LOVE mangos. I know it sounds weird, but please implant mangos in my chest!" Well, if that was the case, then doctor Sal Calabro did a great job!!


The best thing Dr Calabro did for this girl was to improve her posture. Is that what happens when you place breast implants in her armpits?


These boobs don't look totally deformed, but they do look like weird torpedo tits. I would be pissed if I spent $5,000 and looked like this....


The "before" picture shows good boobs. The "after" pictures speak for themselves. YUK!


Okay. You are wearing a scrunchy in your hair. Your hayday was obviously the 80's. A bad boob job is not going to do you any good at this point...


BUT WAIT! Just when you think that Dr Sal Calabro can only perform bad boob jobs...BEHOLD, A women turned into a 10 year old boy!

The "after" picture is on the right, if you were wondering. This poor women had great curves before and now she looks like a lumpy pre-pubesent boy. Perhaps she is looking to score a Catholic priest...(I'm freaking kidding, okay?!)

So let this be a lesson to anyone that is interested in breast augmentation (or any other plastic surgery, really!), DO YOUR RESEARCH! Be sure to look at the doctors portfolio of before and after pictures! And, don't think that a boob job looks good just because the doctor tells you it looks good. Look at all the patients above. I can guarantee you that the only reaason they are smiling in the after picture is because the doctor told them, "Oh yeah, these look SO great!".

Labels: Boobs

Um...Yes. My name is actually Summer...This is the best shirt ever! I was going to buy one for my boyfriend, but maybe that would of been a little too funny for him to wear it in public ;). Everyone should own a t-shirt that eludes to the fact that I am hot! Go buy one at UrbanOutfitters.com!

These things are facts:

* Today is the 1st day of summer.
* Today is the longest daylight day of the year.
* Today is my 27th birthday.
* Today I found out that my friend, Summer Mitchell, whose birthday is also today, is pregnant!
* Today the surf was over head and barreling in Carlsbad, California.
* Today I bought hot pink Von Dutch pants.

This last weekend, Stefan and I took a spontaneous trip down to Salsapuedes in Mexico to try and score some surf. We brought our dogs, Kuta & Monkey and met up with our friends Ricky and Lindsay. Kuta has never been to Mexico before and let me tell you, KUTA HATES MEXICO! More specifically, Kuta hates fireworks in Mexico. For those of you that don't know, fireworks are legal in Mex so all the guys have to buy them and try to blow shit up all day (I think its a genetic flaw in the Y chromosome, but that is just a theory). So we are hanging out at the camp site drinking Tecates and there are fireworks going off ALL NIGHT LONG and Kuta was totally freaked out so we put him in the truck so it wasn't as loud. We all go back to our business and all of a sudden the horn in the truck started honking over and over again, so we thought the alarm went off. Stefan ran over to turn it off and it ended up that it wasn't the alarm after all. Kuta was honking the horn. He wanted to go home. NOW! So we laughed it off and went back to drinking our beers. Next thing you know, the windshield wipers turn on and the brake lights start flickering on and off. KUTA WAS TRYING TO HOT WIRE THE TRUCK! If he had opposable thumbs, I'm pretty sure that Kuta would have drove off and left our asses in Mexico...

Perhaps you had to be there (and on your 6th beer), but there is an ongoing joke about how freaking smart Kuta is, so it was really really funny.

Start with six (6) medium farm fresh eggs. Fill a medium sized sauce pan with enough water to completely cover the eggs. Heat on high. Forget that you are cooking eggs for an hour or so. Wait until you hear 6 loud BANGS (if your eggs are properly incorrectly cooked, it should sound like 6 loud gun shots). Turn off the stove and wait for the eggs to cool. Once eggs have cooled, let in your favorite pet to eat the egg shrapnel off of the floor....and cabinets...and walls...and ceiling.

I am SUCH a good cook, it's mind boggling. Special thanks go out to Kuta for licking the mess off my kitchen floor...

Yeah. No joke. I found clown porn. I was purchasing Pastease for my store and I came across this picture of these two hot clowns (hahaha, even that sounds funny). I was looking for a better quality picture to post on my blog (I know you guys would appreciate a good picture of sexy clowns, right?) and I stumbled into the world of clown pornography. This has got the be the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Full blown, hard-core clown sex. HAHA. There is a clown porn clip and some explicit pictures at ClownPorn.net, if you want to check it out. The review on the site says:

"...5 slapstick porn-filled sketches which all happen to involve clowns and fucking! While there is a definite clown fetish going on here, we really want you to laugh your balls off with our funny and sexy shtick. Think Hardcore Monty Python or SNL with Moneyshots..."

I'm totally going to by this video for Christmas gifts. I can't wait...hahahaha

Summers make wonderful companions if they are properly fed and cared for. Below we show what the diet of an average Summer consists of:

As you can see, for proper nutrition (and to avoid the "crankies") a Summer requires:

~ Copious amount of caffeine, delivered in the form of Redbull
~ Nutritional protein shakes (because Summers tend to work alot and don't have time to eat 3 real meals per day)
~ String cheese
~ Gardenburgers
~ Sour Electroshocks Candy

Most of these items are ready to feed to your Summer, right out of the box, but the Gardenburgers do require special handling. A proper Gardenburger should be dressed with: 1 kosher dill pickle, 3 tomato slices, red leaf lettuce, purple onion, green bell pepper, avocado, sesame seed bun, spicy mustard, ketchup and a dab of wasabi horseradish mayo. Also, be sure to feed your Summer the "light" version of string cheese. This is because the Summer eats about 4 - 6 peices of string cheese per day and the male conterpart has been known to refuse to mate with a Summer suffering from Myassishugecuziatetoomuchstringcheeseitis.

A Summer also prefers to eat in her natural habitat as you may be able to see in the background of the above picture...

(The above items made up 98% of my entire diet last week, in case anyone was wondering where this crazy post originated from...haha)