Summer's Shenanigans

...your foot sneaks up on you?!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8689366181727845562

This is seriously the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Check out the video above. It made me laugh so hard, I snorted a Cheez-It into my sinuses...

For the most part, I am a genuinely nice person, but if you catch me at the wrong time and rub me the wrong way, I can be an absolute BITCH. For example, my most recent bitchification happen last month...

My rent is due on the 1st, but the 1st happened to fall on a Saturday and that particular Monday was a postal holiday, so I sent my rent off a couple of days later then usual. Now, I would assume that this wouldn't be a problem since I have always paid my rent in full and on time, for almost 3 years now. Apparently I was wrong, because a few days later I got a formal notice in the mail demanding that I hand deliver my rent check along with a $75 late fee within 3 days or I was going to be charged an additional $600 or some bullshit like that. Now, I would think that this notice would be acceptable if I was a shitty tenant, but I am a dream tenant. I have never paid my rent late, I have never bounce a rent check, I NEVER complain when things around the house break and I fix them myself if at all humanly possible. So, this letter and late fee REALLY pissed me off. Since my rent check was already received, I wrote the following letter to my property management company:

October 12, 2005

Russell Lee Bennett Management
C/O Sheila Rodgers
3910 Vista Way #106
Oceanside, CA 92056

Dear Sheila:

Enclosed you will find a check for $75 to cover the late fee charge for October rent on 3120 Madison Street. I apologize that rent was late, I was out of town and forgot to mail the check before I left. Unfortunately, I had no idea it would be such a burden on Russell Lee Bennett Management since the last property management company was not as strict.

As mentioned to you when you did the walk through on my house. All three of the windows on the north side of the house are nonfunctional and have been since I moved in on September 1st, 2003. Two windows are stuck closed and one is stuck open, which is a problem since there are also no screens on these windows. There is also a window in the kitchen that is painted shut and broken, which has also been this way since I moved in, in 2003. I would also appreciate it if screens could be put on all the windows (there are 5 that are missing) since the overgrown trees on the side of the house are infested with bugs and spiders. Lastly, I would like to request that the trailer that has been parked against the fence in the lot next door be moved, since it blocks almost all of the natural light on the north side of the house.

Please give me a call at (619) 300-2464 and let me know when these repairs will be made. Thank you!

Sincerely,


Summer Hogan
Vicious Enterprises

I put the above letter in an envelope, along with my $75 late fee and hand delivered it to my property management company. Within minutes of dropping the letter off, I got a phone call on my cell phone from Sheila sweetly explaining that I should of just called if rent was going to be late and that it's really not that big of a deal and that she is a reasonable person, etc. etc. Why was she being so sweet, you ask? Because California state laws requires that all windows in the house be functional (they must open at least half way) and now they are going to have to spend hundreds of dollars bringing my house up to code after all these years. I wonder if that was worth the $75 "late fee"...

Those of you that know my brother, know that he has the same passive aggression running through his veins. If you don't know him, you should read this blog about Winn and Sims law firm.

The moral of the story is this: Don't under estimate someone that you don't know. Fucking with someone that is smarter then you is not a good time (for you at least ;)...).

So, today I was leaving the parking garage at my plastic surgeons office (I'm just getting laser hair removal, don't worry ;)...) and pulled up to the booth to pay the $2 parking fee since I forgot to get my ticket validated. I hand my ticket and $2 to the middle aged Indian man that was working and say, "Hello, how are you doing?". He looked at me and said, "No one ever asks me that! How come your ticket is not validated?" I tell him that I just forgot, but I don't mind paying since it was my fault for forgetting. He then instists that I should not pay because I am such a nice person and asks me for any sort of proof of a doctor visit (receipt, prescription, appointment card, etc). So, this guy went completely out of his way to save me $2 just because i greeted him properly. It's sad, really.

One of my biggest pet peeves are people that are so important that they have to contantly yap into their cell phones while other people are waiting on them, checking out at the grocery store for example. I see it almost every day and It's SO fucking rude! If you are that busy and important, perhaps your assistant should be doing such menial things like talking to the grocery clerk. People are such jackasses...

So I was totally lost in the most hectic work load in October, which is why I am still in a bit of a funk. I was working 12 - 18 hours a day, 7 days a week for most of September and all of October, trying to keep up with the Halloween costume demand from my store HustlerPanties.com. But, guess what!? In October, ESPN.com wrote an article about fashion and included a link to my ViciousStyle.com store! RAD! My brother called to tell me early one morning after he looked to see why ViciousStyle.com was sucking MAJOR bandwidth (which means that it was getting crazy traffic). To give you an idea of how awesome it is to get a link from a high traffic website, the visitors to my website went from 650 a day to 8,786 a day. Obviously, it has dropped back to normal after a few weeks, but still, RAD!

OKay, so I havn't blogged lately because I've been in a really fowl mood. I'll explain later, but this is actually really damn funny:

"The Guys' Rules . At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us comp laining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes & No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null & void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways & one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions & neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong & you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answ er to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping."

Now, I don't know if it should be considered animal abuse, but dressing your animal up in a costume can be pretty damn funny. Here are some great pet Halloween costumes:

I think the "shark" and "turkey" are the best...haha. And, the Umpa Lompa is pretty funny too. There were some great costumes at my Halloween party (I will post pics soon) including pet costumes. We had a mini greyhound "pirate", complete with parrot on her shoulder. Kuta was a hotdog, there was another Australian Shepard dressed up as a skunk, an English Staffy dressed as a bumble bee and an Aussie mix dressed as a pumpkin. So, yes, me and my friends are borderline crazy dog people...;)