My Father is a Child
In November 2007, my Dad came down to Puerto Rico to help me out with the house. He was here for 10 days and we had a major altercation that caused his immediate removal from my property and I've not spoken to him since. My dad has some issues and whatnot, but I've always defended him, put up with whatever he has going on at the time and I've always been a daddys girl. It's been a hard road but I love my dad. Since we had this falling out, I've thought about it nearly every day. I wished that he would call me, email me, write me a letter, telling me that he loved me and that he was sorry. I've talked to my grandmother about it briefly and she has urged me repeatedly to write my dad a letter, hoping that we could reconcile. As a matter of fact, I spoke with my grandmother 3 days ago and promised her that I would send the letter to him before my next trip to San Diego (in less then two weeks).
Today I was minding my own business and I got an IM from my dad.
Dad: How are your eyes?
I don't have the exact IM transcripts, but essentially it comes down to this...He decided to "break the ice" and pop back into my life like nothing happened and me to be all honky dorey with it. I asked him to apologize for what he did and he said no. I told him fine, then stop trying to talk to me, said bye and signed off IM. I had to sign back onto IM 20 minutes later so I could get some work done and the madness started. Here is the exact transcripts:
AIM IM with (summersdad) 2/6/08 2:35 PM
Dad: relax, change your name
Dad: your not a hogan
Dad: just the way it is
Dad: its all good
Summer: Your being so fucking childish.
Summer:If your pride is worth disowning your daughter, then fucking go for it.
Dad: naw, I have tracked you all my life
Dad: just the way it is
Summer:WHy is it so hard for you to say your sorry? You've alienated every single friend/family member you have ever had
Dad: if it isnt good enough, then too fucking bad
Summer:All you need to do is apologize
Summer:And no, "trakcing me" isn't good enough.
Dad: just change your name and disrepect others
Dad: deal?
Summer:Yeah, okay. That helps
Dad: beat up on those that have that looked after you
Summer:I've never disrespected you, so don't try and fucking turn it around.
Summer:Yeah, and I'm SO mean to you and beat up on you
Dad: its your deal
Dad: you assaulted you MOTHER
Summer:I've forgiven you for stupid shit my entire life and you just laugh it off.
Summer:Your the one that hit my mom (and never apologized)
Dad: you dont have to forgive me for anything
Dad: I hit your Mom?
Summer:Yep. You sure did.
Dad: yall are silly
Summer:You hit her with a telephone book. But, let me guess. You don't remember that either
Dad: if i hit her she would have hurt bad
Summer:Whatever. You're one tough son of a bitch I guess
Dad: tru dat
Dad: get ovcer it
Summer:I'm over it. Accept what you did wasn't cool and apologize.
Dad: naw
Dad: I have done everyone well
Dad: make up whatever stories you want
Summer:Okay. Well just accept the fact that I love you and I have never been hurt so much by anyone in my entire life. You win! Have a nice life
Summer:Bye
Dad: talk shit if you need
Dad: wont change my life
Dad: I was there
Dad: take your hurt to me personal
Dad: have it your way
Dad: wont work
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: deal
Dad: just change your name
Dad: your not a Hogan
Dad: you said it and I agree
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: I will bnever impose again
Dad: just never disrespect the Hogan name again please
Dad: your not a Hogan
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: change your name tomorrow
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: deal?
Dad: its a good deal
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: walk out
Dad: quasebarth, rest, i dont give a fuck
Dad: walk out
Dad: its a good deal
Dad: change your name tomorrow
Dad: you will never be a Hogan
Dad: we screwed you on the name thang
Summer:I could stoop to your level and say SO many hurtful things. If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: hang withg your mommy
Dad: deal?
Dad: you will never touch me again
Dad: beat up on clowns that cant hang
Dad: stay out of our lives
Summer:"our lives"? You and your Vodka?
Dad: its a good deal
Dad: rock on, out of our lives
Dad: you will never disrepect another Hogan again
Dad: deal?
Dad: rock oin jmy dear
Dad: I luv ya but wont ever tolerate you again
Dad: or your clown b/fs
Dad: its a good deal
Summer:If you're so over it. Leave me the fuck alone.
Dad: hang with your mommy
Summer:I do.
Dad: rock on
Dad: I do leave you the fuck alone
Dad: rock on
Dad: as always you get what you want
Dad: just dont have jive ass b/fs show up where I am
Dad: its a simple deal
Dad: I made that clear
Dad: rock your world, dont show up in mine
Dad: life can be simple
Dad: and change your name
Summer:This has nothing to do with anyone but you and me. You can blame whomeve you want for your actions, but hopefully you know the truth deep down in side. Like I said if you have no interest in having me in your life, fine. Then leave me alone and stop pretending like you give a shit about your daughter.
< This is where I left my computer, to go play poker >
Dad: I took you off the accounts and propertys
Dad: I will leave you alone
Dad: have
Dad: its not an issue
Dad: just change your name
Dad: your not a Hogan
Dad: never have been
Dad: deal?
Dad: do it tomorrow
Dad: I dont tolerate clowns
Dad: dont ever touch me again
Dad: deal?
Dad: beat up on your Mom
Dad: have dogs bite 2 year old faces
Dad: dont EVER Disrepect me again
Dad: its not going to happoen
Dad: its a good deal
Dad: as you said we be done
Dad: rock on
3:16 PM
Dad: just change your name tomorrow
Dad: please
Dad: and never disrespect us again
Dad: your out
Dad: clowns dont rule
Dad: thats just the way it is and always will be
Dad: your out
Dad: you arent a Hogan, have never been, dont EVER disrespect us again
3:41 PM
Dad: as you said" we are done and Im changin my name
Dad: do it tomorrow
Dad: dont hesitate
Dad: imitation jive ass clown Hogan, get OUT
Dad: now all you have to deal with is the RESTS and QUASEBARTHS, get out
Dad: do it tomorrow
Dad: its a good deal
Dad: center of the universe
Dad: cool deal
Dad: rook on
Dad: rock your world and dont impose on us again
Dad: its a cool deal
Dad: for all of use
Dad: us
Dad: rock on
Dad: disrepect the Quasesbarth name and the RESTS name next time
Dad: we be done as you said
Dad: never mention the HOGAN name again
Dad: your out
Dad: and no Hogan will EVER come to your jive ass toxic zone
Dad: its a good deal for everyone
Dad: damn, Ive been down here for a year but my Mom and Bro havent shown up?
Dad: or my friends
Dad: whats up?
Dad: your out
Dad: cool runnin
4:07 PM
Dad: change your name tomorrow, younpromised me
Dad: Im liken Summer Rest
Dad: take take of him and his family
Dad: it works for me and ALL the Hogans
Dad: your out
Dad: just dont come back when your in trouble
Dad: after all, its your world
Dad: stupid imitation smart jive ass clowns
4:40 PM
So, there you have it. I almost didn't make this post because it's just embarrassing, but here is the proof that I TRIED. I'm not going to waste any more of my time worry about or caring about someone that treats me like shit.
Like I explained to my grandmother, my dad has gotten away with some pretty silly shit his entire life (like driving a bulldozer through the side of my grandmothers house, throwing a telephone book at my mom, accusing me of being on drugs, etc.) and has failed to apologize to ANYONE. He just waits for years to go by and hopes that people will forgive and forget. Everyone does stupid things in their life, and I've certainly done some stupid shit myself, but I have always apologized for being a dipshit. I don't think that is too much to ask.
Labels: Family
Rambled by Vicious Summer @ 2:55 PM
10 Shenanigans:
They do say you can't choose your family, how true.
Sounds like our fathers are a little similar. I didn't talk to my dad for over a year, quite difficult to do when you're living in the same house. It almost drove him mad, but in the end admitted to himself his problems and he sought help. Now (a few years on) he's much happier and healthier.
Sometimes you've just got to cut people off.
I hope he finds an answer to his problems.
U posted a private convo on the net. Step out.
How about you post smack on others, which you are good at. STEP OUT
Cut me off please
you ever touch a HOGAN again, I will drop yopu like a rock
Wait. Did I mention your not a Hogan and never were one. As long as we be public now you and your Mom need to get a DNA test and pay me back for 30 years. TY very little.
Now thats public
Mike - I wouldn't say anything in private that I wouldn't tell someone in public, so I don't see the problem. I also wouldn't say anything in private that I would be embarrassed for other people to hear or see.
Stop dropping the Hogan name like it's something important. I don't give a shit about "being a Hogan". I'm Summer Hogan and will always be, even after I get married and take on another last name. My name has nothing to do with you. If you want to be a father, then fine, be Summer Hogan's father. If not, that's totally unfortunate, but that's fine too. I can't change the way you feel about that. But, I do ask that you stop the fucking drama. Like I said numerous times before. If you don't want to be my dad, then don't. Make a clean break and never speak my name again. Tell people that you don't have any kids. I know you too well and I know that you have officially dug yourself in too deep and now you definately will not apologize for being a jerk off. That is totally on you.
Spit on a swab and send your DNA to a lab. Again, I don't give a shit. I already know who my dad is. A DNA test, whether positive or negative, wouldn't change who you are.
I like how you say that you should get paid back for the child support that you rarely to never paid. That's fucking rich...Man up then. Pay Robin what you owe her. I'll take a DNA test for that. Anytime.
Bulbboy - Well, ain't that the truth...As much shit as I've been through, I still wouldn't change anything about my family. You just have to find the lesson in things, ya know? My entire upbringing made me the person I am, and I like myself most of the time ;).
You can only put up with so much shit, until you've got to stand up for yourself. I'm glad your dad finally came to. I can only hope that my dad is happy, because I know him too well to know that he will not admit fault after digging himself in so deep (even when he is at fault). I'm pretty much just in mourning at this point. I know there will not be a reconciliation.
Wow, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that bull. I was lucky enough to have my "real" dad replaced by my "step" dad when I was an infant... and I got a pretty amazing "step" dad, so I didn't worry too much about the dumb shit my "real" dad was doing.
It's so funny to me when parents are more immature than their children. And it's pretty obvious that your dad loooooves drama. He continues telling you how he doesn't want to deal with you in his life... and then he continues to say things to you. Honestly... how much sense does that make? Well, besides to a 6th grader.
Hang in there! More power to you for being the bigger person & admitting that you've made mistakes. :)
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