I’ve just completed my 6th day of “work service”. Work service is a common part of probation that requires you to devote 8 hour days (7:30am - 3:30pm) to working for the city. If you are convicted of a misdemenor, chances are you will be required to complete 1 - 7 days of work service. Every day you show up at a pre-designated area at 7:30am and the probation officers divide the parolees into groups and distribute you across the county to do laborious tasks. So far I have:

Picked up trash at Escondido High School.
Picked up trash along a 5 mile stretch of the 78 freeway.
Hoed weeds in Spring Valley (in 90+ degree heat).
Hoed, raked and hauled weeds at the Palomar Airport.
Cut back iceplant (with a hoe), bagged tree/lawn clippings and swept Encinitas.
Hoed, raked and hauled an acre of tumbleweeds at Palomar Airport.

48 hours down, only 672 to go! Haha!

As I’ve mentioned before, I was sentenced to 90 days of work service (which after talking to all the other parolees/parole officers, I’ve been informed that 90 days is an absolutely absurd amount). It probably wouldn’t be so bad had I actually commited a crime, but instead, I excerised my right to freedom of speech (or at least I thought I had a right to freedom speech in America. Unfortunately, I was wrong). Any how, I’m trying not to dwell on how I ended up in work service, so let’s get back on track here…WORK SERVICE.

Work service is pretty damn entertaining.

I’ve hooked up with a couple of parole officers that always pick me to be on their crew (because they know I bust my ass) and they are good people that are just doing their job. Working for someone that is in a position of authority that doesn’t abuse it has somewhat restored my faith in humanity. Actually, no. I take that back. I still think the majority of humans are walking sacks of shit that are miserable because they choose to be, but it does restore something in me.

I have also learned that I love hard work. Want me to pick up trash on the side of the freeway? Oh yeah? I’ll pick up more trash than anyone else on the crew. GUARANTEED. I would MUCH rather work my ass off for 8 hours rather then sit around and do nothing for hours on end, which is what I see lots of people in work service do. Lazy is just something that does not compute with me. I’ve always known that about myself though. Unfortunately, people tend to judge me on my appearance which brings me to my next point.

The Paris Hilton factor.

I went to trial right after Paris Hilton was sentanced to 45 days in jail for violating probation by driving on a suspended license. I can’t stand Paris Hilton. BUT, I also think Paris’s sentance was a fucking joke. She was made an example because of who she was and the judge judged her by what he thought he knew about her (via tabloids and the media). The very 1st day of my trial, my lawyer was telling me how confident he was about the trial and I leaned over and said, “Yeah, I know. It’s such a slam dunk case. I just hope I don’t get the “Paris Treatment”…Funny enough, that’s exactly what I got.

I’ve been compared to Paris Hilton more then once and quite honestly it annoys me. I know that when someone calls me “Paris” they mean it in the best way possible (we’ll, usually…), but I think Paris is a dumb, skanky, trust fund baby that is not the least bit attractive if you take away her hair extentions, fake eyelashes, fake tan, blue contacts, stylist, make up artist and publicist. One of the parole officers calls me “Paris” and he told me that he didn’t choose me for his crew the 1st day he saw me because he figured that I was “drama”. He even called me out the 1st time I worked for him and said, “I want to see how you work”. I know he was surprised that I ended up being almost completely the opposite of what he expected me to be like, after he judged me solely on the way I look.

Today one of the other girls that was on my work service crew (for her 2nd DUI) said to me, “Damn, you sure do have a good attitute for someone that got 90 days…”. My reply to her was, “Well, I could be bitter and angry and make myself and everyone else here miserable, but I’d rather just laugh about the situtation.”. I like to make people laugh, so I’ve found this to be a good opportunity to make work service at least a little bit more entertaining for everyone. Every day at least one person complains about how many more days of work service they have to do, so my story has become not only comic relief, but everyone feels better about the 10 days they have to put in, knowing that they didn’t get nearly as screwed as I did…haha.